didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize