I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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