he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We are two peas in an std pod
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize