So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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