the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize