At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
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I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
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fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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