i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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