So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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