He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why did my mother make you get naked?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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