this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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