If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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