What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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