Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i drank out of a bidet.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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