You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
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I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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