I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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