Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Welp...herpes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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