So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
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he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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