I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize