ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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