Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize