You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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