There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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