Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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