they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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