Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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