sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
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It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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