you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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