just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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