You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize