I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize