She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize