i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize