Kiss
Puke
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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