those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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