Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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