Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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