OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize