the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
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I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
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So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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