You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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