who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize