I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize