If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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