well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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