Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize