her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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