If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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