Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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