When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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