Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize