Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize