we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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