I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize