she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize